just enter your email address below to get this blog's updates, news, and more!It IS Your Fault
One of the most “successful” phrases in the history of direct sales copywriting is this: “it’s not your fault.”
Fortunes have been made with this phrase.
Billions of dollars have been collected by telling people that their obesity, their poverty, their unhappiness, their dysfunctional relationship patterns aren’t their fault (and then selling them the “cure” that can fix everything).
There are all kinds of reasons why you don’t follow your deepest purpose.
Let’s see . . .
- Your passion might a require a large commitment of time and money (and and then fail)
- There’s uncertainty in starting a venture or launching a product
- You might fail and look like a loser in front of your spouse, children, and family (who didn’t think you’d make it in the first place)
- You’re afraid that if you follow your passion, you won’t be able to feed and house your family
- You’re afraid it’s going to take a LONG time before you reach profitability
- You don’t want to be in your mid-forties, driving a shitty car, and living in two-bedroom apartment with your family
- You’re afraid that you’ll end up a bum in the street, destitute, and in debt with no savings, no food, and no health insurance
- You’re afraid that you’ll be left out in the cold with no security
- You’re afraid that if you leave your job and start doing what you were born to do, that it will flop and you’ll have to re-enter the job force in a bad economy and that you’ll won’t be able to compete with younger guys who learn faster and will work for less money
- You’re afraid you’ll lose your house
- You’re scared about having enough money for retirement
Well, I have news for you. . .
. . . you might not have unlimited money, but you do have unlimited resources.
Your time IS now.
Your spouse might briefly hate you if you go for it, but over the next 5 years she’ll come to resent you even more after you’ve become jaded, passionless, and have lost your way.
There is no price too great for freedom. There is no price too great to pay for coming alive.
The time IS now. Your time is now. And if you don’t do it now, you probably never will.
Your time is now.
You know the thing you’ve been putting off the longest? That thing you’ve been procrastinated for the last 10 years? That’s the thing you need to start doing today. That’s the thing you need to start before going to bed tonight.
I can’t tell you it will be safe. But doing shit you have to do because you’re afraid of the alternative: that’s the quickest way to lose respect: not just the respect of your spouse and children and everyone who believes in you or once belied in you – but also your self-respect.
And you’re children, they’re going to have enough to eat. They might not have all the latest bullshit toys, but they’ll have something better at home: an example of courage and life.
(And trust me… your spouse and kids would rather have in you a courageous “failure” than a cowardly “success”).
Putting off that thing you were born to do. That’s not safe.
Nothing is safe.
And if you’re too good to sacrifice for a bit, drive a shitty car, not eat out, and rent instead of buy . . . then you might not deserve the thing you crave.
You might not have unlimited money, but you have unlimited resources. And you know it.
The barriers to entry for nearly every endeavor you or I can think of are lower than they’ve ever been in the history of mankind.
Yes, you have a partner and children and mouths to feed. But they need a LOT more than food and money and some bullshit false notion of security. They need YOU.
Not the version of you that secretly hates 65% of his life. Not the version of you that gets up every morning unexcited about the upcoming day.
They need to version of you that is courageous, uncompromisingly true, HUNGRY for life, and ready to live and die giving your all to them and the world.
If this doesn’t describe you, then it’s probably your fault.
I would rather be a courageous (so-called) “failure” than a cowardly “success.”
Which will you be?
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Hi Carl… I'm really interested in your story. What are you up to these days?
At any rate, I'm sure you're an inspiration to a lot of people.
This is AWESOME. Thank you for posting this article. Your point ….
“You know the thing you’ve been putting off the longest? That thing you’ve been procrastinated for the last 10 years? That’s the thing you need to start doing today. That’s the thing you need to start before going to bed tonight.”
… is exactly what I am going to do, right after I hit “post comment”! 
This is AWESOME. Thank you for posting this article. Your point ….
“You know the thing you’ve been putting off the longest? That thing you’ve been procrastinated for the last 10 years? That’s the thing you need to start doing today. That’s the thing you need to start before going to bed tonight.”
… is exactly what I am going to do, right after I hit “post comment”!
this made my night. truly.
I left NYC in November after being laid off from a marketing company and have been vagabonding through the U.S. teaching dance, writing a travelogue, working on a lifestyle design blog project, and learning as much as I can about living life on my own terms since.
There's a whole lot more to it, but that's a really quick summary.
nice one! totally agree…
“Better to have lived one day as a lion, than a thousand as a sheep.”
Clay, you hit it right on the head with this post.
Procrastination and fears kill our dreams. Thanks for the reminder!
Woke up at four this morning, head full of stuff needing doing. Read your post. Kick started the day. Thanks. Andrew
love the quote. Wish I had it when I was writing this post 
.
Everyone, check out this dude's site. It's great.
Hey man, thank you!
God I love this blog.
God I love you for writing this.
Too much coffee is a goooood thing.
Grr… except when it's 3:30 in the morning and you need to go to bed
Just when I am about to start wondering why I jumped off the cliff and out on my own, just when I'm about to hit the panic button and retreat to the cozy confines of security and safety, you come along and kick my ass.
Thank you!
Hell Yeah, Clay. Me, I was up tossing and turning last night because my subcontractor has this super-cool thermal camera and blower door and I don't. I have been holding myself back, coward-style, telling myself I can't afford my own or he's so much more experienced than I. Eff that ish! I can find a way to get those tools and finally do the one-stop-shop without a sub (who scares certain clients away, and has to drive 100 miles to each gig). This little letter of yours was written for me, and I'm taking the plunge right effin now.
Aaron Campbell in Seattle
It is true that we make choices every moment and that we are not carefull with the “now”.
Lack of time? sorry – but then you need to check out better what you really do with all those minutes you get every day and decide what is important and what is not.
I belong to those who don't want to quit my work (it is ok. and quite challenging) – but I do know there are a lot of
changes I can make the hours I'm not working….
Thanks for your post. Have you read Paulo Coelho?
Good grief man. Thank you.
Wow! This is very timely, you hit home hard. I thought I was brave but yep I'm afraid of all those things you listed. I have failed at other entrepreneurial attempts and sometimes it can get discouraging especially when I have nothing to show for my efforts.
Now I need to re-evaluate the unlimited resources that are available to me.
Thanks!
Worthy of a standing ovation. Seriously. It's magnificent stuff to see somebody calling it out right here.
If it was socially acceptable I'd say “smoooch. I love you”
Thanks for giving me ass kicking privileges, Susan
First, this story is awesome as hell. Especially since you're taking the plunge right now! This is inspiring.
Second did you write “Eff that ish?” and “right effin now”?! Bro, you know you can curse here, right?
–Clay
Nope, never read Paulo Coelho. Should I? Which book should I start with?
Hey man, those resources are around. You sometimes it's just hard to open our eyes and see them.
Joely, how the hell are you? It's been forever and a day. Sure hope you're well!
–Clay
Hey, I'll take a smooch any day.
This is just what I needed to hear today, so thanks for saying it. It's so refreshing to hear someone speak honestly about what it takes to make your dreams happen, and at the same time is encouraging about facing fears. Thanks!
Yes! Yes! Thank you for writing this blog again…now to get my ass in gear
*bowing to you*
I beg to differ! That post was written for me
I'm about to quit my day job, a nice and cushy gig that brings me more money than I've ever made, and spend the next few months traveling the US to find out where I really want to live. Once I find out where that is, I plan on making weird stuff to sustain myself. A lil bit of internet money. A lil bit of corporate money. And I guess something else, though I'm not sure what yet. I've always known I wasn't the suburban wife/mom thing, but I was always afraid to be the “unclaimed”.
Fuck it (Clay said I could!), I'm doing it.
Fantastic post. Take charge with your live, you've only got one!
If somebody had ever told me that I would ever praise a post with strong words, I would have replied yeah and the Soviet Union is going to fall like that.
However, I'd like to say that, when you take risks, you can have the tough side of it. I was a lawyer, maybe young and not that experience, but I had survived the first years. Then I entered a Catholic seminary. Just in case, that means living in a Seminary, spending all my time there, so I had to close my office. Not exactly an easy thing to do.
Some years later I do not even consider myself Catholic anymore.
But… I felt fully alive, I did things I never thought I would be brave enough to do, like spending a summer with street children or, worse, helping in Mass with a cardinal -that makes your legs tremble if you are Catholic-: I learned philosophy, bits of theology, made my faith clear. Now I'm struggling to recover my position, finantially
but… I can say I'm living
Clay,
Love your writing, love your thinking, love your message. (Also loving your Business Ideal Litmus Test video.) Please keep at it. Your own business model is exceptional, and I'm just damn glad I had a chance to be in from the get-go. Your emails are a delight and the free material is excellent. Pretty soon you're going to have to start charging for stuff. And I'm sure you're going to make it worth every penny, seventeen times over.
Keep it up. You're doing a fantastic job.
~ Michael Fisher
I could relate to this post on so many levels. I have just about every one of those fears. I've tried everything I know to get my business off the ground, but so far nothing is working. I'd be glad to work harder, but I don't know what else to do. I'll keep trying, naturally. In the meantime, I'm going to have to take a day job and just hope I get lucky and it is something I can be passionate about. I say that because I'm going to have to take the first offer I get — due to the economy and being completely broke. My disability was cut off preemptively in December and I've had to drawn down on my savings to cover all my bills and expenses since then. My own business has had exactly ONE client. So embarrassing…..to be honest.
“Nothing has a stronger influence psychologically on their environment, and especially on their children, than the unlived lives of the parents” – Carl Jung
What really steams me is when people who say TGIF. Ah!!!!! Why be thankful for only 2 or 3 sevenths of your life!!!??? Find ANY (non schmucky) way out!!!
“Nothing has a stronger influence psychologically on their environment, and especially on their children, than the unlived lives of the parents†– Carl Jung
What really steams me is when people who say TGIF. Ah!!!!! Why be thankful for only 2 or 3 sevenths of your life!!!??? Find ANY (non schmucky) way out!!!
ok, I am doing it tonight! I have already begun and you now have another loyal reader!
This really reminds me of Johnny Depp’s statement on Inside the Actor’s Studio when asked what he is most proud of. He said he always maintained his integrity and never sold out. Johnny Depp is this great looking movie star, but he wouldn’t be the Johnny Depp we know him as if he ever took a judging gig with some popular talent show – his equivalent of a nine to five I suppose. As a single man, the authenticity and passion for life from a freedom business is as nice as the freedom. I know guys who are less physically attractive than me but have a passion and “get more girls.”
This is so much more true then I would have imagined – my last day of my rather-oppressive-though-theoretically-cool job is thursday! i’ll be getting my own freedom business started next week, and it’s been so long since I’ve been so pumped to start anything!
Everyone that knows me has been astonished to see how much better I’ve been in all areas of my life since I decided to cut the cord – sustainably happy, excited, silly – the me I thought went missing a few years ago.
i’m so happy to be back! Everyone, please take this post to heart! I’ve been trying to convince my friends to follow me into madness 
they don’t see how much is being drained out of them for the sake of a paycheck.
Hey Clay. This is damn inspirational. I had to re-read it thrice. Reminds me of the time I got so sick of feeling like crap, I went skydiving.
I think that changed my entire level of courage. I went on to get straight A's for the Cambridge A levels the following year and subsequently do really well (by my own standards) in the army.
But we can't just stop there. And this is a timely reminder for me. Thanks.
Hey Clay. This is damn inspirational. I had to re-read it thrice. Reminds me of the time I got so sick of feeling like crap, I went skydiving.
I think that changed my entire level of courage. I went on to get straight A's for the Cambridge A levels the following year and subsequently do really well (by my own standards) in the army.
But we can't just stop there. And this is a timely reminder for me. Thanks.
I'll go with courageous “failure” and I think I often have.
That is sort of where I'm at right now. I have a fraction of the income I had six months ago, I have no stable home, I left behind a majority of belongings and I'm living a life I wouldn't have dreamed of a year ago.
While I'm not killing it money wise I am discovering a whole new way to live.