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Not Being a Real Person: The #1 Self-Development Anti-Hack

Quit Your Dead End Job

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My ex-wife Amanda used to cut her own hair. But occasionally she’d have her hair done by a professional. She referred to this as having her hair cut by a “real person”? and she’d sometimes say things like: “I really like having my hair cut by a real person.”?

The term caught.

Years after Amanda and I separated, I started using the term “real person”? more broadly. In graduate school, for example, I referred to anyone who was done with school and had a “real”? job as a “real person.”?

But in my mind, being a “real person”? wasn’t just about having a respectable job, it was about . . .

The End of Stepping Stones

So many of us live “stepping stone lives.”? We spend the majority of our waking hours working for goals that are merely stepping stones to other goals. For example:

  • We do well in high school so we can get into a good college.
  • We do well in college so we can get hired by a good company (or get into a good graduate school).
  • We do well at our jobs so we can get even better jobs and make more money.
  • We join committees to pad our resumes or impress our bosses.

(Question: what would your life be like if you cut out all the stepping stones?)

So anyway, a few years ago I referred to anyone done with a formal education (who was working full-time) as “a real person.”?

In my mind . . .

  • Real people get up between 5 and 7am and go to work on weekdays
  • Real people have the weekends off
  • Real people own property
  • Real people are grown ups
  • Real people aren’t what their former selves wanted to be when they grew up
  • Real people are married (to other real people) and tend to have children
  • Real people don’t get to take a lot of chances
  • Real people do not take mini-retirements or engage in long-term travel
  • Real people have separate home lives and work lives
  • Real people’s daily realities are owned by institutions (their pay, how they spend their time, and what they think abut during their most productive hours are determined by their employers).
  • Real people gain legitimacy from schools, institutions, monetary income, etc.

Real people, however, most definitely do not get to . . .

  • Take naps in the middle of the day
  • Take a long Christmas vacation
  • Quickly and readily implement structural changes in their lives

Back in the day, I wanted to be a real person. I wanted to be done paying dues. I wanted to be done preparing for life (so I could just start living it).

Needless to say, I don’t want to be a real person anymore. So . . .

I’ve Given Up on Being a Real Person

I don’t believe that real people lead purposeless existences. I don’t believe they’re all zombies marching to the beat of a corporate drummer. But I also know that I can’t set “realistic goals,”? be realistic, buckle down, and pay my dues. Perhaps it’s because my heroes aren’t real people. Perhaps it’s because I was trained to not be a real person by my (conservative) mother who unschooled/homeschooled me into my present-day radicalism (thanks mom: it’s one of the best gifts you’ve given me).

(Note to all parents: since one of the purposes of most schools is to turn your child into a real person, the #1 way to ensure you child doesn’t become a real person is to unschool them).

Real People Aren’t Born, They’re Made

Becoming a real person is something that’s done to us. And it most definitely is something we do to ourselves. It’s something we’re socialized into becoming. We’re born as unreal people but somehow get turned into respectable members of society with good cover stories. The process happens gradually over time until we hit our mid-twenties — a time of hyper-accelerated conformity — and the process starts pacing itself.

If you’re a real person, it’s likely that your parents, your church, your schools, your college, your employer, etc. have invested a lot of time and energy into turning you into a real person. That’s because most dominant institutions have a vested interest in YOU being a real person.

Some day I may want to be a real person again, but right now (at this point in my life) I can’t stop thinking about . . .

The Benefits of Being an Unreal Person

Give me the names of 5 people who’ve brought positive change, on a massive scale, to the world, and I’ll give you the names of 5 unreal people. (As a side note: give me the names of the greatest thinkers of all time, and I’ll give you the names of people who don’t give a shit about productivity).

That’s because real people (with several exceptions) generally live in other people’s realities: the realities of their bosses, their teachers, their clergy, and their parents. (Living too long in other people’s realities, by the way, is the cause of “not knowing what you want to be when you grow up”?; it’s the cause of notion that you have to make something of yourself when you grow up).

On the other hand, unreal people live in their own reality. And that’s really the key to this whole thing, because change will never take place if you’re living in anyone else’s reality but your own.

And that’s why – for the time being – I’d rather be . . .

An Unreal Person

Let’s talk a little about unreal people.

Unreal people . . .

  • Tend not to live in a regimented context.
  • Are light on their feet; they can implement change on a dime.

Unreal people . . .

Furthermore, unreal people tend to . . .

  • Set unrealistic goals
  • Not live in the “real world”?
  • Pay themselves (they typically aren’t paid by employers)

All of this sounds great, right? It does to me, but the trick is to not live . . .

The Fake Unreal Life

So often, people who’ve left the “real world”? and “real jobs”? end up working for an even more effed up boss. Themselves.  They leave their screwed-up jobs only to recreate them all over again at home.  (I also see this kind of thing happen with homeschoolers/unschoolers all the time: they leave the public education system but install the very same systems in their homes).

On a more positive note, I’d like to say . . .

Thanks to These Amazing Unreal People

  • My grandparents
  • My parents (who taught me how to be an unreal person)
  • Adam King
  • The Pina Family
  • Amanda (who, like me, was homeschooled, and who rode her bike to Guatemala and back, sleeping in tents often off the side of the road)
  • My neighbor Jeremiah Nelson
  • Rudy Rauben

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  • Stacy
    By Real, I mean "Real", like with reality and accepting of it!! I do not like people who act or tell you what's going on in their lives when "really" it's so not going on. For example, I have a M-I-L who lives a lesbian life, but she will not ever talk about it with her children, who live out of state. Like we don't know what's going on. We have met the other partner, and she is so nice, so why not recognize it???? It drives me crazy. This is what I mean by being "real"......... Be a real person. Voice your opinions, even though we may not all agree. It's called life and we learn each and every day from it!
  • Thanks for helping me figure out where I am. Stepping stones.
  • Dude, you are totally unreal, no doubt about it.

    I loved this post. It makes me feel better about being a freak. Thank you :-)
  • Vishnu
    Enjoyed reading...looks like you have found a great context for your life...especially the point about not trying to actualize someone else's reality. I was in that rut and am still to a large extent...I am gradually shifting to things I love from things that would have made others proud of me.
  • This was a much-needed jolt to get me back on track! Have you heard of the song 'Real World' by Matchbox 20? It reminds me of this so much, since the real world seems to put up a good fight as we try to escape, but it's completely worth it.
  • Good article. I believe it is our duty to free people from being "real people," especially our family and children. The world is never going to wake up as long as we keep living for someone else.
  • Great post! I like the audio. I'm curious now if everything I have done in my life makes me a real person or unreal person... :) For me, whatever works, whatever makes me happy.

    Happy blogging!
  • Thanks for making the distinction between
  • Regardless of all the real/unreal debate, I think the key thing that stands out here is that you need to take responsibility with where your life ends up.

    And that means ignoring the conventional wisdom and doing what you are passionate doing. It means saying "why the hell not?" when someone says "it can't be done."

    I've always enjoyed the guidance of that timeless movie, The Princess Bride:

    Buttercup: "The Fire Swamp? We can't go in there - we'll never survive!"
    Westley: "Don't be silly. You're only saying that because nobody ever has."

    Decide what you want, set your own rules, lather, rinse repeat.

    Works for me. :-)
  • Man, everything about me is "real". But I do a lot of "unreal" things...

    This is a good philosophical topic. Like Vered said, you are a thinker and you have a knack for making people think about their situation, which any good philosopher should.

    I'm curious to know whether you think the U.S. Constitution is a product of "real" or "unreal" people...
  • As I was growing up, I used to believe that adults had this thing called "common sense." Then, when I became an adult myself, I realized this kind of general, widespread mindset is not as far-reaching as I thought. The idea of "real" or "normal" people is relative. Some people are apt to make categories and place themselves in them. Other people will resist categories or simply not fit into existing ones. Who cares?
  • Ramana Maharishi has a lot o really good Anti Hacks!
    Robert Anton Wilson also.
    The best blog in my view.
    thanks
  • "stepping stone lives" This is exactly the term I've been looking for to describe so many of the folks I used to hang out with -- they've disappeared into the real world.

    Great write!
  • Clay,

    I believe this makes me a "surreal person" -- "unreal" maybe? Either one, I'll take it.
    :-)

    I too like your expression "stepping stone lives" and I understand your point. But I also believe that you can only find peace, joy, and your next great opportunity when you are in alignment with whatever step you are on/in at any given moment.

    It's the tendency to always be looking at the "next step" -- or looking too many steps into the past or future -- that really creates the dissatisfaction.
  • Scain
    Are
  • Brad
    For those content being "real" people:

    "I do not speak to those who are well employed, in whatever circumstances, and they know whether they are well employed or not; but mainly to the mass of men who are discontented, and idly complaining of the hardness of their lot or of the times, when they might improve them." - Thoreau
  • Thankfull
    Thank you. I have been bogged down for months after losing my shitty job as a manager for gamestop...I just read your article. Consider my mind blown! I never really thought about it like this.
    om
  • Gabe
    I liked this post. What I take from it is not so much that being "real" is inherently bad. What is bad is when we rely only on "real people's" criteria when deciding what to do with our lives and fail to consult our heart in those important matters. Being "real" may work perfectly fine for some people, and no one but them can determine that. We basically just need to try to decide how we define a life worth living without focusing exclusively on what society expects of us because none of us wants to end up like Tolstoy's Ivan Ilyich, on our death bed and finally realizing that everything that we worked so hard for was shallow and meaningless and not what we really wanted out of life.
  • I have a confession to make: I am a real person. I am married to a real person. We were both raised by real people and are currently raising two real little people. :)

    My two cents: you need to know yourself and know what makes you happy. Some people are happy being "real" and in fact, if you keep at it long enough and are successful enough, you do gain not only financial independence but also freedoms such as taking long vacations, deciding how long to work each day, and deciding when to start your day and whether to work from your home or from the office. You are also free to take risks and chances and change direction, because you are financially independent. So in a way, if you "give" those 10-15 years to the system, you do get to take back - and you're even young enough to enjoy it.

    But of course, life IS structured when you have a "real" job, "real" responsibilities and real kids that go to a "real" school.

    You, Clay, are incredibly smart and talented. You are also very ambitious which is good, because some philosophical types (you know you are! You are a thinker) lack in the ambition department which does not bode well for success in life. You are young, but you are old enough to know yourself and know what you need in order to be happy. Being "real" will make you miserable. It makes a lot of sense for you to be unreal, and it is my opinion that you WILL succeed - in real people's terms. You are already on the path to achieve "real" success, on your own "unreal" terms. That's just awesome.
  • Clay

    This is a really inspiring post. The Stepping Stone concept really drives it home. For most of us, completing a series of goals revolving around credentials and acquisitions has been seared into our brains since we were kids.

    Even when you create your own reality or live an alternative, off-the-grid life, it can be easy to gauge your own success using society's measuring stick.

    On a side note,

    Two guys are in a canoe, canoeing across the dessert in the sand. Guy #1 turns around to guy #2 in back and says,

    "Wears the paddle"

    Guy # 2 says,

    "Yep"


    ---
    I actually know Jeremiah Nelson - a really nice guy but absolutely no semblance of any sort of a memory. Perhaps he's a folksinger by trade because he can't remember anything besides his own schizophrenic lyrics...
  • A few years ago, when my business was struggling and I was courting governement customers, I found myself in the city, in the precinct inhabited by mining companies. It was hot, my shoes were tight. I got a juice and took off my shoes and sat in my suit and tie with barefeet on the steps of a big bank in the shade and just paused to reflect. I wasnt trying to be in anyway provocative. But in some strange way I was, judign bythe horrified looks of the passersby, it was then I realised. I even saw two guys I know from the 'old days' when I used to work for the same mining compaines, they turned their heads away.
    Thats all it took, take off your shoes and suddenly your not in the real-club anymore. That day to this, I have never put my shoes back on (figuratively at least). I left the club that day and stopped trying to find my place on its endless ladder of despair.
    I don't regret it.
  • bflophil
    Good thoughts. - In my meek efforts i've done the following.

    1) Moved within walking distance of my job.
    2) Made a digital antenna and got rid of cable.
    3) Got rid of cell phone (actually pay as I go - cost < 100 year)
    4) made a rocket stove
    5) cancelled newspaper
    6) don't pay for sports events

    looking for other ideas now
  • Awesome post, I really enjoyed it. While people need to be aware of the consequences of becoming "unreal" (you need to make sure you don't also become invisible), there are often benefits to stepping out of the lives that are expected of us (and that most people expect for themselves).
  • Katie
    Absolutely fantastic. I have been enjoying your writing so much lately. The last few entries especially have coincided so well with what I have been experiencing in my life the last few months. It's wonderful to see the thoughtful expressions of someone who was fortunate enough to leave the school system so early.

    I've been reading a lot of John Taylor Gatto recently, which always helps to shake things up in my head so that I don't feel so resigned to structuring my life according to how other people/institutions think it should be. The article linked above is a basic introduction to why modern schooling actively cripples children and how you can move away from that. Even though I found out about him after I had already graduated high school, and quit college, he helped make sense of disquieting feelings I had about the whole experience that were hard to put my finger on. I left college so I could think. Sounds like a crazy paradox I know, but the longer I've been away from school, the more right I know I was. I don't need someone else to tell me what I should think about, or how I should think in general.

    This is one of the main things I think school does, makes you dependent on outside forces, be it people, advertisements, or "expert" opinions, to define every last aspect of your life and who you are. It made me laugh when you mentioned how the forces trying to make people "real" go into hyper drive in their mid-twenties. I am now 27, and the last couple of years I have made even more of a concerted effort to try and define my life and my mind for myself. It has been a very difficult struggle, with long bouts of depression and feelings of intense emptiness while I let a lot of things go.

    I have gravitated towards phone jobs that allow you space to read and write while in between calls. Less supervision. Less responsibility. That has been one of the hardest things for me, dealing with my choice to work at a job that is not a career so that I can work later in the day and have space to think. This has been one of the first jobs I've had where I am working eight hour days and yet because I'm allowed to go to sleep late at night and wake up midday, I no longer need an alarm clock to drag myself out of bed. I have leisurely "mornings" to have tea, write, whatever, before I need to go in. This ended up meaning more to me than I originally expected, I took the late hours at first because there was a pay differential to work at night. So in that sense it is a win/win. The hard part is having people ask me what I "do" and in order to answer that question accurately, I have to focus on something other then my job. Because so often when people ask what you do, they are asking where you work, etc. My life has ended up different than that, and I am glad I accepted that's how things need to be for me to be happy.

    For the last few weeks, I have been designing a blog to talk about how much I love food. Making notes about content, designing the header, choosing a color scheme, the whole thing. I'm glad I have creative projects I care about, and that I'm working on creating situations where I can express myself. I wasn't sure I would get to this place in my life. I spent most of my twenties so far working at jobs I hated and spending my free time hiding inside of an online videogame. The events of the last nine months have helped to push me to the other side of that and I feel alive for the first time in many years. I am excited about my future, I am happy about the kind of person I am. I am grateful for encouragement and room in my life to peel away all the layers that have been carefully placed on top of me since I was young that were supposed to define who I am. It is refreshing to realize I've been there all along, I just need to get down to where I am. Thank you for being another person reinforcing those kinds of ideas. Best of luck to you while you work on experimenting with your life.
  • Petey Wheatstraw
    This is completely wrong.

    Your definition of "real people" starts out as "people who are done planning for and preparing for life and are actually living it." Ok, well, this is a canard because people who "live" life never stop learning or preparing to do the next thing.

    But, forget that for a second. I know what you mean: When you are in school you often feel like you are just marking time until you "really" get to do something.

    So, your "unreal" people are those who have decided to do something and are doing it. This definition is no different from your "real" people. All of this stuff about how they are "light on their feet" or can "implement structural change" is at best window dressing and at worst, also wrong (let me know how easily you could repurpose your life into raising kids if you had to...and then let me know how "light on your feet" you actually are).

    The fact is, most of us never get around to doing "what we want" because we are afraid. When you get to the point in your life where you can actually do this, when you can overcome your fear of the unknown, of failure, of not knowing what comes next, then you are getting somewhere. But all you have described is people who wear ironic t-shirts and listen to shitty bands nobody has ever heard of. Once you can account for the fact that your parents have done all this shit, and your grandparents, and so forth (my folks almost got lynched in Mississippi in '64) have all been through this, without blogs or Twitter or scrabulous or iPods, then you will be on to something.
    ------------------
    Response:
    I like the part about horrible bands and ironic t-shirts.

    But other than that, I really don't know what you're getting at. Just when I think I get your point I realize that I don't. I'd love to respond, and I'm sure you're onto something, but I don't understand what it is yet.

    If you could boil your thesis down to something other than "this is completely wrong," then that would help me out a lot.

    Thanks man.
  • Dana
    I'm kind of amazed at the responses here. Why are we getting caught up in pointless semantics discussions about what "real" and "unreal" mean and getting offended when no offense was obviously intended?

    I think what Clay meant with his labels of "real" and "unreal" was how *society* sees people. If you have The Proper Training(tm) and The Proper Documentation(tm) to perform a specific task, you're a "real" person. This is a very common attitude in today's culture and it is very damaging. Clay mentions homeschooling and unschooling; that's a great example. The pervasive attitude is that children have to be taught to learn by Real Teachers. Any parent out there who's spent any amount of time with their kids knows that's untrue whether they are conscious of the knowledge or not. Ever tried to *keep* your kids from learning something? It doesn't work real well, does it?

    But I read Clay as defining himself as "unreal" *from the point of view of society.* As in society saying, "Hey, you don't have 4 years undergraduate education or an alphabet soup after your name, therefore you are not 'real'. You don't work a regular job for someone else, therefore you are not 'real'." I didn't read it as any reason to take personal offense at *him.* Isn't that kind of shooting the messenger?
  • I couldn't agree more with your view. I often feel the same way. Actually I sometimes discuss this topic with my friends, so it's nice to see other people also talking openly about it.
  • Thank you for pointing out more of the things I want to change.
  • Hey Clay,

    I read this and it immediately reminded me of one of my favorite TED talks: http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/ken_robinson...

    Hope you like it.
  • Johnno
    Here, here.

    Well done.
  • Guest
    Could you elaborate on Amanda's story? Guatemala on a bike? Can I find a story about this on the internet? Sounds awesome.

    thanks
    .adam.
  • Hi,

    A friend sent me a link to your blog. It was his subtle way of cheering me up. I'm not sure I would define myself as "unreal" as I assure you that I am quite "real," but the "unreal" description you provide could be my own. It's not an easy choice as there are many ways to be derailed, hence why the link was sent to cheer me up, but it is very worth it.

    Keeping it perhaps - surreal.
  • yes, yes, yes.
    the part about the five names gets me thinking....
  • I was really influenced by Janov in my late teens, so "real" and "unreal" have had opposite connotations than how they're presented here. Neurotics were unreal, and undoing primal traumas made the person real. Of course, Janov always believed that society at large was neurotic, manifesting itself in achievement complexes, agression, comsumerism, busyness, and so on. In his parlance, real = authentic.

    But you're addressing exactly the same truth from the opposite angle.
  • This can't be real :)
    I am living in the real world, wondering how to escape it, and not thinking anything, i live definitely like a zombie, and that all because i don't know what i want to do with my life.

    So anyway, thanks, you saved my day!
  • Marshall
    I have to agree at least somewhat with Jonathon Howard in that, AT TIMES, your posts can seem a little too pep-talky. I'd be interested in finding out what you've experienced from living an unreal life.

    That being said...

    The "fake unreal life"... brilliant, not because it's original, but because it's accurate. We, as a whole, could probably stand to live a more unreal life, as you put it, but at the other extreme, we can't simply live the unreal because it's different from the norm. There still has to be purpose to it. I think that's why I'd like you to explain why? ...Why is the unreal life better, except because that's what you say you've chosen?

    You can go even deeper, Clay. I
  • Hi Clay,
    I see your point, but I still think your "real" and "unreal" are a word play. We decide what is real for us. I work doing what I like and I work on weekends because I love it. Or I may take a nap on weekday afternoons. I never bother if someone think this is "real" or "unreal" -- it sure is real for me.
    ---------------------
    Response
    OF COURSE it's word play! It's meant to be an illustrative distinction. That's all.

    I agree that we decide what is real for us. This article is food for thought. It's a ~1,200 word blog post and it's certainly not exhaustive. That's all.
  • Very thought-provoking article, Clay. You keep writing stuff that hits right where I'm at. Birthday #29 is coming up next week for me, and I'm getting more and more frustrated at trying to make my "real" job work for me when it's not the life I want to live, and I'm getting older all the time. Ok, 29 isn't that old, but...years keep slipping by, you know?

    I'm still up for a phone and/or email chat if you are; drop me a line if you've got the time, I'd love to discuss some stuff with you.

    Peace!
    ---------------------------------------------
    Response:
    A phone call sounds great. Let's do it soon! I'll email you in the next few days to line things up.
  • This is amazing! This is the second post I've read in as many days about authenticity and writing your own rule book. I spoke with a friend about it on Friday and since then, I've been seeing it everywhere.

    Thanks for the reminder,
    Nneka
  • Ian
    Hey Clay,
    You just got dugg so I'm sure you're drowning in notifications, but I just wanted to let you know that you got me thinking, and I made a post on my site and gave tribute to you sparking my revelation.

    Check it out if you want. But more importantly, thanks. I'll be reading more often from here on out.
  • Sad people are sad
    It took you this long to realize that you liked the fake trappings of a career, instead of having a passionately engaging life?

    Wow.

    Thinking are hard.
  • I have one son. I am becoming an unreal person.

    Life has to be more than what this world offers.
  • That certainly was refreshing. And true. In line with your perspective here, I have always believed in NOT doing anything that I do not want to do. Business, personal, I don't care. Thing is, people end up reluctantly respecting this attitude. The concept of doing something because it is what you are expected to do seems very robotic to me, devoid of individuality. Other people's expectations of us are a trap, and you can waste your life working to meet those expectations.

    Rock on.
  • Clay - I really liked the mention of "stepping stone lives." Many people (and I've recognized this at times in my own life) do things to get something from it, and not for the intrinsic pleasure that it brings them.

    The only problem is when you find that what you thought you were gonna get from something, doesn't happen the way you thought it would or doesn't happen at all.
  • Interesting food for thought. Like you mention, all the real innovators are innovative partly because they're different. They live differently, work differently, and come up with different ideas.
  • Interesting post. Most people just aren't that brave, of course. Then again, it wouldn't even occur to most people ...
  • I like your philosophical direction. Here are a few of my favorite pieces of wisdom:

    "You spent the first half of your life becoming somebody. Now you can work on becoming nobody, which is really somebody. For when you become nobody there is no tension, no pretense, no one trying to be anyone or anything. The natural state of the mind shines through unobstructed -- and the natural state of the mind is pure love." ~ Ram Dass

    "Health is the greatest possession. Contentment is the greatest treasure. Confidence is the greatest friend. Non-being is the greatest joy." ~ Lao Tzu

    Cheers...

    Kent (The Financial Philosopher)
    --------------------------------
    Response
    Kent, where do you get these amazing quotations? Are they just sitting in your head most of the time for you to pull out on demand.

    I never thought of the similarities between non-being and "not being a real person." Thanks for that.

    Also, that Ram Dass quotation is dead on. Who is he and where did you find it?
  • found you via precision change . . . what a great post! i've been battling with this Not Being Real - not really being a part of the system, not wanting to, struggling with making my way. i feel like your post celebrates those folks who are living the change, creating lives that make more sense in the context of these vast changes coming our way . . . glad you took the time to write your perspective down :)
    ----------------------
    Response:
    :-) Yes.
  • River
    Nice......there is so much more to life if you are living YOUR life.....not someone else's interpretation. By any chance, are you left handed?
  • A very timely article for me, Clay!

    I've been trying to decide where I fit in or want to fit in the conventional world of work these days. This sure help clarify it for me!
  • Great article! I just spent the day with my son, Sebastian. It was quite exhilerating (and nervous-making) to see that my unreal life has rubbed off on him! He'll never be a 'real person' now...

    I think once you really see through the 'Grand Story of becoming a Real Person', life changes for ever.

    I mean this grand story: that it's great to get a good job and that you need to spend all your energy on your job so that you can get a better job, and then a better job - so that you can get ahead in life AND REALLY MAKE SOMETHING OF YOURSELF. That story.

    Of course, there's always a chapter missing. That's the bit when the person WHO HAS REALLY MADE SOMETHING OF HIMSELF then get's made redundant - because the employer cares f-all about him - and then gets depressed because he has not developed all the lovely talents that lay dormant and spends the rest of his life wondering why being a 'real person' didn't quite work out...
    --------------
    Response:
    Perfectly said. And thanks for making the world a better place by (as it seems) being an AWESOME parent.
  • Unreal... and with uncanny timing, again. Love the smell of perspective in the morning.

    This post reminded me of the movie 'Stick it' - when ranting about her former rise to superstardom at the gymnastics world championships, the main character said:

    "I wasn't *great*..... I was just obedient."

    I'm stoked that my 9yr old munchkin got all fired up during the movie re: the stupidity of the rules and the judges rewarding stupid things, conformity over innovation and raw authentic brilliance that touches your heart in a way you just can't ignore.

    And he declared that he would rather be *great* and change the rules so they actually reward greatness, and keep obedience in context where it belongs, like keeping your car safely on your side of the road -- that's a sweet sweet sound to a mama's ears :)
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    Response
    I love stories like this. Children are much wiser than most people give them credit for. It sounds like your child is no exception.
  • Clay,

    I'm loving these alternative ideas that roll against the norm of mainstream beliefs. If your interested in a blogroll link exchange or any other kind of networking, email me.

    Marc C. ;-)
  • Clay, do you think that there are some people who are passionate about the 9 to 5 job with all the politics? Some people get off on that.

    I think I am in transition. I was in administration for a public school district. I stood out like a sore thumb. I was unhappy. So I decided to start a really cool venture with a friend of mine. I have never been so passionate about anything before. I feel freed from all the red tape, politics, and general yuck in the public schools! I am so pumped about it. SO am I now unreal? You tell me.
    ------------------------------
    Response:
    I think you're unreal, Laurie. And congrats on the new venture. I'm really glad that you're so happy. It sounds like you've come alive.
  • Clay, I'm honored. That's all i know to say.
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    Response:
    You're an inspiration, dude. I'm looking forward to the interview.
  • Great article there! And you've included an audio clip that compliments this post you have here. You are definitely not a "real" person in this world dude. :)
  • You've got such the multimedia blog, nowadays. Love that little audio clip. It got me all fired up!

    I've at times created a fake unreal life for myself. It's something I think us renegades constantly battle--we've freed ourselves from outside constraints (more or less) but find that the same programming is inside us. I saw this very clearly in my last business which was started with friends out of love, but I found myself stressing over the work later, as if an imaginary boss in my head was forcing me to do things I didn't like! WTF.

    I'm currently reading two books about unreal people: Success Built to Last (studied people who were successful in whatever they were dedicated to--not necessarily fame or fortune--only those committed to something for over 20 years) and The Perfect Mess (studies how and when messiness is advantageous over order in personal life, businesses, relationships, etc.).

    Here's to unreality!
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    Resposne
    I really look forward to reading the perfect mess. That sounds like a great book.
  • Brice
    Clay, I love the audio at the beginning. It reminds me of one of Paul Graham's essay's "Great Hackers" that goes like this, "When I think about the great hackers I know, one thing they have in common is the extreme difficulty of making them work on anything they don't want to."

    There really is a great joy in eliminating all the things one is uninterested in and only pursuing what is important.
  • Excellent timing - I really needed that. :)
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