What is the Meaning of Money?: A ‘Philosopher,’ a 4-Year Old and a Path

[A Note from Clay: This article -- by Kent Thune -- is one of the most remarkable articles I've read on the topic of work/life balance and lifestyle design for a long, long time.  It's well written, it speaks to the heart, and it's filled with uncommon wisdom.  And I'm not just writing this because Kent graciously allowed me to post his article (although I'm ridiculously thrilled about that).  At any rate, I highly recommend reading this post in its entirety and then visiting Kent's blog].

Clay’s idea of “Financing Your Freedom” is especially interesting to me – not only because I believe in it but because I have lived it; I am living it; and I point clients and blog readers in the same direction.

Since there is not one best path to follow, please allow me to humbly share my own, not that it should be yours, but with the hope that something here will shed light on your own path…

“I do nothing but go about persuading you all, old and young alike, not to take thought for your persons or your properties, but and chiefly to care about the greatest improvement of the soul. I tell you that virtue is not given by money, but that from virtue comes money and every other good of man, public as well as private. This is my teaching, and if this is the doctrine which corrupts the youth, I am a mischievous person.” ~ Socrates, as quoted by Plato, ‘The Death of Socrates’

To paraphrase a modern book author, Mitch Anthony, “life is not about making money – money is about making a life.” I learned this lesson recently, not from an ancient philosopher; not from a modern author; and certainly not from a blog…

I learned the lesson from a 4-year old boy…

When my first-born son was four years old, I was extremely busy “climbing the corporate ladder.” As any curious child might inquire, my young son asked me why I was away from home so much, and specifically, why I was missing important things like “trick-or-treating” on Halloween and Christmas plays. Just as any normal, dutiful father would do, I replied that I was “working hard for our family to earn money for all the things we have…”

Without a moment’s hesitation, my four-year old son said, “I’d rather have my Daddy than money.”

I was speechless as my heart hit the floor…

How ironic is that? My son’s priorities were straight and mine were not! I managed hundreds of millions of dollars for tens of thousands of people at a pension firm and here was a four-year old child delivering the kind of paradigm shift about money and life that I needed to find the best path for me and my family…

I now operate a successful business out of my home; I drop my son off at school; I greet him when he gets off the bus; I put him and his younger brother to bed at night; and I’ve never missed a significant event in my two boys’ lives since then…

Now, please allow me to humbly share with you some valuable lessons I’ve learned along my own path to a meaningful existence…

"As for the future, your task is not to foresee it, but to enable it." ~ Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Enable opportunities: The greatest achievements and life events are rarely planned, but they are not completely random, either. What’s more, humans are terrible at predicting future happiness.

With this knowledge, we should not attempt to hyper-intentionally “make money” or force opportunities, but to enable them – let opportunities happen by keeping an open mind; by embracing the unknown and unexpected; and by learning how to recognize opportunities as they present themselves.

"We have to recognize accident, i.e., the fact that there is no formula, no ‘principle’, which covers all things; that there is no totality or system of things.  And this recognition at once supports a life of ‘responsibility and adventure’ and leads to scientific discovery." ~ John Anderson

Have a balance of responsibility and adventure: This extends upon enabling opportunities: Some of the most important scientific discoveries and inventions were “accidents;” yet those accidents may not have happened if the original scientific objective was not created.

A balance of responsibility and adventure – of planning and accidents – of science and art – of order and randomness – can provide the ideal combination that leads to discovery, and the beginning of the greatest of all discoveries, self-discovery.

Can you think of examples of accidental discoveries in your life? Did they occur by random chance or by intentional design? Or was there originally a plan but that plan seemingly turned into something completely different yet unexpectedly wonderful?

"Man acts as though he were the shaper and master of language, while in fact language remains the master of man." ~ Martin Heidegger

Define words for your self: What do the words success, wealth, strength, weakness and freedom mean to you? I ask my clients to define retirement. Most say something like, “Retirement means I’ve saved enough money so I don’t have to work anymore.” I respectfully probe further by asking, “What do you mean by the word, work?” You can imagine how more open-ended questions may then progress to reach something more definitive.

Personally, I define retirement as, “doing what I want, when I want, within reason.” By my own definition, I “retired” two years ago at age 37!

Can you think of examples in your life where the simple definition of words can either distract you from, or lead you to, your path?

“One’s own self is well hidden from one’s own self; of all mines of treasure, one’s own is the last to be dug up.” ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

Uncover your self: Social conventions, language and media noise tell us that we should go to school, get a job, climb the corporate ladder, buy a big car, buy a big house, and buy a big life. Without knowing it, we find ourselves in the rat race without questioning where it will lead us.

Somewhere along the progression of birth/school/work/death, our ideal self becomes covered by physical world inhibitors, which will minimize potential and maximize inertia.

I believe that we discover who we are by slowly eliminating who we are not: Once we begin to question this seemingly deterministic fate – this path laid before us by social conventions, language and media noise – we begin to discover, or uncover, our ideal self and shed light upon our own path.

"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony." ~ Mahatma Gandhi

Align your priorities and pursuits: Think of the things you cherish most in life – those things you live for – the ones that would make your existence meaningful:

Is money at the top of your list? Probably not. If you are like most other people, you may have thought of real priorities, such as health, personal relationships and general well-being.

If you think again, however, you will likely realize that you currently lead your life’s pursuits as if money is your priority. If health, personal relationships and well-being are your priorities, then why are you living as though money is your priority? Why are you engaged in a pursuit that may actually lead you farther from your priorities? Align your priorities and pursuits!

“It should be noted that children at play are not playing about; their games should be seen as their most serious-minded activity.” ~ Michel de Montaigne

Become a child: This sums up all of my previous points and brings us back to where I began my path to a meaningful existence – my son’s life-changing wisdom. To unlearn what we have learned and to uncover our ideal self, becoming a child again can help bring the kind of perspective that may help shine light on your own path:

• Play and work can be one and the same.
• Ask for help when you need it.
• Say what you feel.
• Be curious.
• Dream big.
• Have a hero.
• Take risks.
• Live now.

"What is important in life is life, and not the result of life." ~ Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

I hope that, by sharing my particular path with you today, you may be enabled to shed light upon your own.

Just remember that the path to a meaningful existence is not the path of least resistance and, as common as this is, it bears repeating: The pursuit of life should be of the pursuit itself – it’s the journey that brings meaning to life – not the destination.

Photo by neloqua.

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