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When Crazy Isn’t Crazy Anymore: Life Balance and Insanity

Four Seasons[Note: Bear with me here at the beginning.  The second half is better than the first].

Four SeasonsConventional wisdom says that a well-balanced meal contains all the major food groups. On the contrary, nutritional research indicates that nutritional balance just isn’t necessary during each meal. Balance among the food groups isn’t even necessary over the course of a day. In fact, nutritionists generally believe that while a diet might not be balanced with regards to a particular day, what’s important is that nutritional balance be achieved over the course of a week (or even two).

What does nutritional balance have to do with life balance?

Just as nutritionists have rethought nutritional balance, I’d like to propose that we start . . .

Rethinking Traditional Life Balance and Honoring the Seasons of Living

For everything there is a season,
And a time for every matter under heaven:
A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; A time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; A time to mourn, and a time to dance; A time to keep, and a time to throw away; A time to tear, and a time to sew; A time to keep silence, and a time to speak . . .
-Ecclesiastes Chapter 3

Just as balanced eating doesn’t require that every meal contain all major food groups, balanced living does not require that every day include a “proper” amount of sleep, social time, spiritual time, work, and play. What’s important is that we get what we need from life, when we need it. What’s important is that we achieve balance over the course of weeks, months, years, or even a lifetime. What’s important is that the seasons of life balance each other out on our time-frames.

I think it’s also worth discussing how . . .

Perceived “Balance” Can be Maladaptive

In past posts I’ve observed that people who hate their jobs need an airtight productivity system to keep them on task. Likewise, if any one aspect of your life (i.e. your relationship, job, etc.) is “off” or ill-suited, then you’re going to need some serious compensatory balance. If your job sucks then you best hit that treadmill (to relieve stress), surround yourself with great friends, and spend a lot of time meditating (a lot). These elements of balance can help you compensate for, or mask, non-ideal situations with other positives.

Living in Seasons

Some of us manage to get up each morning at 4:00AM, run, meditate, work for 8 hours, and then come home for dinner with friends and family. Still, others wake up, work for 18 hours straight, and then spend a few hours with a spouse and children. So while some of us manage to integrate multiple facets of living during each and every day, others tend to do their living in seasons.

For people taking the seasonal approach to living, balance can mean spending 9 months working our assess off, followed up with a 4-month travel binge (and perhaps returning home to pursue a heightened social life while our work lives run in the background).  In fact, I’d go so far as to say that…

  • Four SeasonsIt’s entirely possible to work 16-hour-days for 3 months straight and still live a balanced life.
  • A season of traveling the world by yourself can be on the path of balance.
  • A season of sleeping 10 hours/day and spending most of your time talking with friends, or taking care of family, can lead to balance.
  • And the path of balance can include following up several months of spiritual inactivity with a week of intermittent prayer and meditation.

Indeed, sometimes the best balance is no (apparent) balance at all

The point is that in the overall scheme of things, the seasons of life will balance each other out if you’re staying true to yourself. And I would argue that not immersing oneself in a season of life that’s calling you is to deny yourself balance.

Of course, you really can’t plan the seasons of life or quantify your balance (or lack thereof). The best you can do is to pay attention to your intuition and “consume” what you crave. That is, if you crave a meal containing nothing but fruit, then your body probably needs fruit. Likewise, if your imagination, creativity, and ingenuity won’t leave you alone, then you might really be craving a season of work (yes, we sometimes need meaningful work like we need air).

At any rate, living in seasons can be a more holistic approach to balance for many people. The only problem is that when we’re immersing ourselves in a season of life . . .

We Can Appear to Be Partly Insane

People who are fully and single-mindedly immersed in a season of their life can appear to be out of whack and sometimes quasi-insane. Your friends will think little of it if you stay up one night jotting down ideas, taking notes, and scheming. But if you stay up into the wee hours of the night for an entire month or two, then you may be seen as going off the deep end.

(For me, the “well-balanced” life feels like insanity; it feels regimented and contrived).

Your perceived insanity will be greatly amplified if you are being viewed from the eyes of someone who has known you for only one life season. And if you live a life of seasons, you may be perceived as a workaholic, a lazy bum, a socialite, a health nut, etc. during any one period of your life.

The truth, however, is that you’re probably all of these things and none of these things.

Succumb to your own insanity by subscribing to The Growing Life.
Photos by TonyVC, Fort Photo, and Seb Przd.

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  • Clay ,
    I translated an article of your blog in my brazilian blog . Go see
    http://wwwoqueeisso.blogspot.com/

    Congratulations on your blog
    Pedro
  • Lisa Newton
    In your introduction to this post, you used the term "nutritionist." I would take it a step further and use the term "dietitian," a well-respected and highly educated field.

    In regards to nutrition balance over the course of a week, you hit the nail on the head. When I worked for a major cities public school system's food program, we used to analysis the Federal Breakfast and Lunch program based on a week's results, not on the daily results.

    Based on the rest of your post, I would definitely fit in the insane catagory for my balanced life. In fact, right now, it doesn't have much balance. That's why I like to look at balance from a long term aspect, yearly if necessary.

    Thanks for increasing my awareness of life's balance, and causing me to think about my insanity................:)
  • Balance begins and ends as a state of mind.
  • Excellent post - definitely my favorite of yours so far. Where ever did we get the idea that life balance had to occur within such tight time frames as days or even weeks? Out of a sense of conformity I suppose. But after reading your post, it's easy to see that the notion of living life as it seems fitting to yourself is so much more liberating than trying to conform to any sense of what might be perceived as "normal" from the outside.

    Thanks for the insight Clay!
  • You make some very good points. Especially on the larger cycles of balance. And the link between being obsessed with productivity and hating your job. I find that loving my job AND loving other aspects of my life (exercise, family etc) allows me to achieve the craziest of balancing acts. As St Augustine once said: "Love and do what you will".

    Thanks for the deep, thoughtful writing Clay. Keep it coming.

    Albert@Headspace
  • Here's a second for attuning yourself to YOUR OWN rhythms, as opposed to being led around by the nose on the general rhythms of society. It will make you much less frustrated and much more productive. It also may be a bit harder to pull off - but I believe that it's worth it in the long run - if just be being easier on your immune system - which we have to count on for health more and more these days!
  • Interesting, I've been thinking about balance as well lately. Must be the season for it.

    I like what you said tho' about how a well-balance life feels too rigid. For me conformity feels like insanity and non conformity feels normal. Or, something like that.

    When I start something new, I'm always obsessive about it. Or is it more PC to say driven? Regardless, I will work on it till my vision's blurry and my neck won't move. That's just me and it's the way I've always been. It usually balances out sometime.

    The point is I get the best out of me by just going with the flow. Even if it's not the way others do it. You've got to grab the passion when it arises. That's my balance.
  • Nice fine point on a sticky idea - a seasonal approach to living.

    I'm a fan of immersion and the seasons of change. Life's not static.

    I used to think more about permanence and holding on, but now it's more about rolling w/the punches and riding the waves.
    When things suck I like to think like the seaons and "this too shall pass."
    When things are great, I hold on for the ride and I give her all she's got.

    One of my friends framed life something like -- be a boy, be a warrior, be a king, be a sage.

    Now that I have a lens for business cycles (from The First 90 Days), I see their seasons too - start-up, turnaround, realignment and sustaining-success.
  • That was a very insightful post, and the comments that followed got me to thinking. I need to listen to my intuition more often, actually I need to find where my intuition has been hiding! I think it has been on vacation for a while, I need to entice it back!

    While I may be unbalanced most of the time, it's probably what makes me balanced! Thank you for making me realize it!
  • I realized once that when I think of balance, I generally picture a scale with equal sized weights on either side. But just as common is a complex moving mobile like this one:

    http://farm1.static.flickr.com/112/288614924_11...

    Those who live simple, static lives tend to think of balance in more simple images and metaphors.
  • Some theologians consider that passage from Ecclesiastes to have been a cynical commentary on life. Maybe a "balanced" life is a boring life.
  • This post actually gives hope to people who work a lot and spend the time with the family during the weekend. I tend to do this and I'm glad that I'm actually somewhat doing this parenting, husbanding, and working thing the proper way.

    So what you're saying is balance is finding balance in an imbalance life? Or is it what realy matters is the end result and not the day to day grind?
  • P.G. Smith
    I love this post. I've always wondered why I am go-go-go during the summer and want to sleep all winter. I've lived with 'well-balanced' people all my life. No wonder I felt I was going insane! Now I just have to figure out how to find my 'seasons' again.
  • Hi Clay, this is very interesting article on balance.
    People who knows us only in one season will often judge us not as the right person of who we are. That is really encouraging!
    Great article!
    Robert
  • Hello Clay,

    Lovely blog you have.

    Love this post about life balance and living the seasons of our lives.

    I agree that, when living a particular season of our lives, there is no need to answer anyone, but just enjoy the journey and live it, cos this is the season.

    I have gone through many such seasons.. and this one I am going through is the best :)

    Thanks for the include at Mixx.

    Come on over to my blog and visit me when you have some time:)

    Blessings,

    Gamy
    http://www.mindthinksuccess.com
  • When I lived in Italy I knew people who would find temporary work for a couple of months, make some money, and then take a few months and roam around or do whatever they wanted (they work to live rather than live to work). The pilots of the Panama Canal can opt for a plan of working 5 weeks (it's long hours and you can be called to work at any time, whether it be 2:00 p.m. or 2:00 a.m.) and then they get 3 weeks off. During their time off they tend their own small business or travel. So I agree with you that balance can, does, and should have a different meaning for everyone.
  • Well said!

    I've thought along similar ways for a while now. And I remember mentally comparing what you call seasons of life to my body's cravings for food. I'm glad you're able to explain it so much better than me!

    Anyway, it's definitely difficult to justify life seasons to other people who are so caught up in societal expectations. I finished my bachelors degree in December... and ever since I've been having to explain over and over and over, "I'm not at a place where I really feel compelled to be job-hunting right now." And nobody understands what I'm saying.

    But I guess that's not important. Thanks for another awesome post!
  • Hey Clay, well done. It seems to me that no matter how much we pretend otherwise

    (1) We are not in control of our lives.
    (2) Life will always have the final say.

    I've noticed that the people who have their lives the most sorted out, zipped-up tight, and BALANCED are the ones that seem to eventually get the stuffing kick-out of them by life. Everything is in perfect working order then BAM, the apple cart is turned over. Health, financial problems, you name, these things can interrupt the best laid plans.

    You've got it right. Balance can be achieved in so many unbalanced ways. We flow with Life, we move with it. We dance to its tune and love its wisdom and rhythm. Much better.
  • Damn, Clay, you stole the quoted verse from under me. I had it planned for Friday! :p

    I think you're dead on about seasons, and that's where the standard lifestyle of Americans go wrong. Seriously, where in 50 workweeks are you supposed to transition into a different season? Pre-industrial societies had it a bit easier on this front: without the artificial environments in which we now leave, the natural seasons made them live through different seasons. Whereas you can't grow wheat in December, you can enter data anywhere and anytime there's light and somewhat working air conditioning.

    As always, great job.
  • Liked the way you reply to comments by adding a response right at the comments we left behind. You gave a personal touch to it. :)

    I'm in a 2 year season thats gonna end at this December, and living on a 12 hr day shifts with another 2 days off for every tour of 2 work shifts done.

    Balance to me for this period would be to get to meet up with friends, for a meal, chat, games (just came back from a late dinner with a couple of my friends too! one of whom we met up by coincidence too!) and then coming back home to rest, read up on blogs that I follow, while writing on the simple stuffs in life in the WE blog that I'm running.

    20 hrs, 24 hrs, or even 28 hrs days are almost normal to me now. And this kind of schedule has been integrated into a balance life for me this season.

    Haha. I can't wait to jump into the next season that starts right at the end of this year. Should be fun. :D

    Glad that you mentioned this entry in your blog. Do write on more dude!
  • I used to live in seasons - crazy work schedule, highly stressful court appearances, living on very little sleep and lots of caffeine, and then taking an unstructured long break and traveling for a couple of months. So I completely agree with your ideas.

    However, once my kids were born, I did feel that I needed to try and balance things out on a daily basis.
  • Mac
    You're so right. And the quote is very appropriate. Nice post :)
  • The tricky part is knowing when a full-on effort, like 18-hour workdays, is a season with some closure to it. As Mark indicated, it's hard to embark a business and know when to let go, since there's always room for growth. At least for entrepreneurs, there are books the The E-Myth and The 4-Hour Workweek that outline timelines for progressively offloading work. It would be interesting to see the same concept applied to binge vacationers, starving artists, and other tracks that risk going more than temporarily off balance.
  • Great insight! I've long felt at odds with the corporate world because there is no seasonality. Days, months, years click over with tomorrow being just like yesterday.

    I'm hesitating with some new business ventures and I suspect it's because of my own seasonality. How to design a business that can vary with my rhythms? Now there's a challenge.
  • I like the way you think! I spent five years being an overly driven leader in a hard-core martial arts school, and now I have the quiet, low-profile life of a writer and care taker for my mom. Your post help kick out any residual insecurities I had about the transition I made. Very helpful, thanks!
    ----------------
    Response
    I love this comment. What an interesting transition. Thanks for sharing that.
  • I find this post rings very true to me. I work 12 hour shifts with a half hour commute each way per day, putting me at 13 hours away from home minimum. I find my balance on my days off spending much time at home with family re "centering" myself. Good post!

    http://www.zendad.net
  • Bible verses!
    -----------------
    Response
    Yeah. The Bible doesn't get much real estate on productivity blogs so I try to sprinkle it in now and inbetween Lao Tzu and Budda quotations. :-)

    --Clay
  • I feel so.. validated right now. LOL
    Nice work with the Ecclesiastes quote Collins

    I was thinking the other day.. wondering if I was some degree of inadequate because to fit everything that the 'positive and productive' person would achieve in a day would be difficult for me. I tend to live in seasons. Certain daily additions have been very beneficial for me but its few.

    I think it started off with that Stephen Covey interview Leo did on Zen Habits. I respected his ability to do what he could..
    But you should seriously see what I started to try to fit in my day.

    Over the course of a week like you suggested is tons more doable for me.

    And yes, if someone only knows you for a season - not only do they think they know you and would like a valid explanation for the things you have or accomplished (simple - it was a diff. point of my life.. a diff. season), the judgment comes and it can be harsh. Then, you get unsolicited advice and things of that nature lol

    My momma would really love this post. So I'm going to send it to her and teach her how to check her email to read it. :)

    Oh. and I love it too.
    -----------------------
    Response

    I love that you're sending this to your mom. That's one of the nicest things anyone could write. Thanks, JEMi.

    --Clay
  • Nice work, Mr. Collins. I'm looking forward to the season of summer being one of travel & perspective. The workaholics months have been a bit much. . .
    -----------
    Response

    Tell me about it :-). I've actually quite enjoyed the workaholic months and think they might extend into the summer for me. Good luck with the travel and bumming around. I'll look forward to reading about the updates on your blog.

    --Clay
  • Brilliant observation here, Clay. I think one of the reasons that people don't live by this philosophy is that they are not tuned in with themselves. They either depend on outside influences (i.e. the media preaching to them what they "should" be doing to live a balanced life) or they don't pay attention to the needs of their body and mind(so they consistently overeat, undersleep, or work too much, and fall out of balance).

    I find that a spiritual practice (meditation, prayer, living in the moment, whatever one chooses) greatly helps me to achieve a heightened state of awareness that allows the natural ebb and flow of balance to come into my life. It's not so much about choosing what needs to happen in my life, but allowing life to flow through me, guiding my choices and helping me to achieve that balance.
    -----------------------
    Response

    Hi Susan,

    I think you're right about lack of "tuning" (into one's self) being a problem. Also, the logistics of life can be a huge issue. Most jobs just don't allow for much flexibility and it can be hard to coordinate family schedules etc. with the varying seasons of so many lives (it's difficult, but it can be done). It also varies so much from person to person.

    --Clay
  • Clay Collins
    @James: Sincere thanks to you for this very nice comment. I like what your say about intuition. We know a lot more than we think we know, but it can just take so damn long to tap into our intuition (especially when the quiet voice of intuition is competing with so many other factors). Thanks so much for this comment and for stopping by.
  • Thank you!

    My favourite posts are those that validate my intuition. I've spent so long ignoring it, that every time I read one like this (that makes me think "Yes, I knew it, I just didn't acknowledge it.") it helps me to learn to identify and trust that little voice in my head that actually knows what it's doing.

    I believe that a genius idea is one that makes other people say "Of course! Why didn't I think of that? It's so obvious!" So thank you for this genius post.
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